I was 16 years old when I preached my first sermon.
Growing up, I was never exceptional at anything. I never hit the game-winning shot. I never scored a touchdown. I was not the most popular kid, and the girls didn't really care about me. But when I preached, people stood and clapped for me.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was good at something. I felt like I had found my thing. I felt like I mattered.
Like every teenager, I was searching for my identity. And I found it. But my identity was now found in ministry, not in Jesus.
And over the next decade, that would wreck my soul.
The Identity Crisis
I built my entire life around ministry.
I quit sports. I pursued a Bible college degree. I took on ministry internships in high school. I exchanged listening to music for listening to preaching podcasts. I changed the way I dressed.
Everything in my life began to realign itself toward becoming successful in ministry. And in many ways, it was a working strategy.
I was getting paid to speak at summer camps at age 17.
I moved away to pursue a theological degree at 18.
I had a full-time pastorate at age 20.
I was married by 21.
I led a student ministry of 300+ by 22.
Yet by age 26, I found myself so anxious, angry, and tired that I had gained 40 lbs; I would get sick and vomit for 24-48 hours from stress, and I wanted to quit.
What happened?
I had an identity crisis. I'll call it a "ministry identity crisis."
My entire identity was found in ministry; therefore, when the church was successful and growing, I felt successful, too. But when it inevitably took a natural nosedive, I felt like a failure.
Looking back, that was the darkest season of my life.
I bet you'll have some seasons like this, too. Are you prepared?
Are You Prepared For A Tough Season?
Are you prepared for a tough season? A season that inevitably will hurt so much that you might even question your calling, your gifts, and possibly your identity.
Jesus said in Matthew 7:24–27:
[24] "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. [25] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall because it had been found on the rock. [26] And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. [27] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." (ESV)
Jesus is communicating to his disciples two significant truths:
1 - A storm is coming.
2 - You can prepare.
My question is – have you prepared your soul?
Because if you don't prepare your soul for the inevitable storms of ministry, you, too, will have a ministry identity crisis.
But here's the good news: you can't avoid the storms, but you can avoid a ministry identity crisis amid a storm:
How To Avoid The Ministry Identity Crisis
A tough season in ministry is coming for you.
It doesn't matter what denomination you are part of; it doesn't matter the city you live in or the senior pastor you serve under. Your ministry will not constantly be growing.
Sure, God will be producing fruit. But no one is exempt from seasons of low attendance, loss of essential volunteers, and the failure to sustain momentum.
It's just a fact – your ministry operates in seasons.
The question is, will your soul be differentiated from your season?
In other words, can you walk through a ministry crisis without having an identity crisis? Can your ministry appear to be unsuccessful on the outside while you personally can maintain personal peace on the inside?
Your soul must stay separate from your season.
I’m referring to a psychological term called differentiation.
One definition of the term is:
Differentiation of self is a psychological state of being in which someone can maintain their sense of self, identity, thoughts, and emotions when emotionally or physically close to others, particularly within intense or intimate relationships.
I've learned that mature ministry leaders are not immune to life's seasonal storms, but their souls are not connected to their seasons.
Instead, they are deeply connected to King Jesus.
And if your soul and your team's soul are not differentiated, that could lead you or your team into some deep crisis areas.
If I could go back, here's what I'd do for myself and my team:
Strategic Plan of Action: Three Ways To Prepare Yourself (And Your Team) For A Tough Season
1 - Institutionalize the secret place.
Many in our coaching community have very small children. While children are no excuse for a life spent apart from quiet time with the Lord, it certainly does make it more difficult. One gift leaders can give themselves and their teams is a 30-minute secret place period.
In other words, what would it look like to ask your team (especially in busy seasons) to schedule a blockout from 9:00 AM-9:30 AM for time spent alone with Jesus? During this time, there would be no meetings, no strategy sessions, and no tasks. We would only spend time in the word, in prayer, or reading books to sustain our souls.
I love what Pete Scazzero says in Emotionally Healthy Leader. He reminds every leader that:
"Doing for Jesus flows out of your being with Jesus."
For some reason, we compartmentalized ministry to think that personal time with the Lord can only be spent at home, and the 9 AM-5 PM is for weightier matters. That is a recipe for disaster.
Give your soul and your team the gift of an institutionalized secret place during office hours.
2 - Focus on trends, not wins.
Most people gauge their ministry success by last night's attendance.
One thing I'm sure of is that if you live for the highs, you will die by the lows. This statement is particularly true of attendance highs. Don't get me wrong, I love tracking data. I believe that anything you manage should be measured as best as possible. But it is straightforward for those metrics to become another idol.
I remember feeling like a champ when we broke an attendance barrier. Only to feel like a loser when the room was half empty.
I can assure you Jesus doesn't want you to feel this way. So, instead of focusing on the wins, I coach teams to focus more on long-term data trends. For example, is your ministry growing from year to year? Or quarter to quarter? Do you see a trend of deeper engagement? Questions like these are far better indicators of growth than a big win.
3 - Regularly celebrate faithfulness and outcomes.
One thing the network I am church planting with often says is that we value "faithfulness over outcomes."
I love this statement. Because if you celebrate something enough, you become, in a weird way, attached to those things. Physiologically, we know that whatever gives us dopamine (i.e., celebrating a ministry milestone) chemically builds neural pathways that make us want to do those things again. For example, I often say, "What gets celebrated gets repeated." It's why you tell your dog "good boy" when he sits.
But the problem is, when we only celebrate outcomes at the expense of celebrating the myriad of small actions of faithfulness to Jesus, we then train our body to need specific outcomes (such as broken attendance barriers) to feel successful.
Of course, we love it when your ministry grows. But just as important as ministry growth are the hidden acts. So when you celebrate, and I hope you celebrate often, celebrate faithfulness, not just outcomes.
Honestly, it's hard to distill down into a newsletter many of the factors that helped me separate my soul from my season or my successes. But I can promise you, it was worth that work.
I remember asking time and time again for someone to coach me through what I was feeling & experiencing, only to be told no. But it would have saved me, my time, and my family so much heartache.
If you are able, invest in a coach! You need someone who has no connection to your organization but can give honest, objective, and non-biased feedback.
If you are interested in coaching, let's set up a time to talk.
In our world, the only more complex thing than being a pastor is being a pastor who has no one to talk to.
I'd love to help.
https://www.simplystrategicministry.com/coaching
LR
